Farm shopping has turned into a rollercoaster of emotions. The high as a new property is located, the internet stalking of photos and google earth imaging, the unstoppable imagining of what life would be like there. Then comes the crest of the car as we schedule the appointment and turn our car onto the drive followed by the seemingly inevitable crash as the reality doesn’t match the imagined. The big old BUT that wasn’t mentioned prior to looking. The prison a mile down the road. The house 10 ft from the main road. The lake separating the property in an unmanageable way.
The entire process has been emotionally and mentally draining as well as time consuming and we are struggling with the thought of settling to just be done with it all. The issue is that I’m not sure what to even settle on. Amount of land? School quality? Distance from work? How quiet it is? I don’t even know anymore what it important and what is not.
The crux of the issue is my coming to terms with reality. The reality of where we live and what the area is becoming. Nobody wants 30+ acres around here. They all want 6-10 acres, maybe less. Tiny farmettes that give the illusion of country life without giving up on the amenities or requiring much effort in up keep. Larger plots are getting sectioned into smaller ones and sold at high rates. You mention a farm to an agent and they send you 3-5 acre plots with massive houses. That’s not what we want. I’m not sure we live in the right area to get what we want. At least not with a 30 minute or less drive to work.
This dream I have held within me for two decades may never come true. That’s a hard pill to swallow. But the truth of the matter is that the dream was created so many years ago. Back when commute times, school quality and resale value weren’t even terms I knew existed. Back when I didn’t have a job that required a location close to hospitals, pharmacies and labs. Back before I made a whole bunch of decisions that led to where I am now as an adult with a family to raise and business to run.
My heart still wants the dream I concocted when I was 10: 100 acres of pristine land bordered by woods and a creek, horses gleaming in the sunshine, no noises outside that of the earth moving and breathing around me.
The problem is that my brain is screaming at me about commute times, school quality, the time suck of having to maintain that much land on top of working a full time job and raising Wyatt.
Dusty and I have been doing a ton of talking about this. I’m not the only one involved here. Maybe we should settle for something smaller, closer to town and in a great school area. Plan to live there 20 years then when Wyatt goes to college beat a hasty retreat to the mountains. Get our dream then.
Of course life loves to throw curves all around us and who knows if we would ever be healthy enough when I’m 55 and he is 60 to want to retreat to the mountains. Who knows what life will be like in 20 years. Maybe we will be looking to move to the ocean or into a townhouse or across the world. It’s hard to make plans for a week from now let alone two decades.
Why be in a hurry? Wait until the perfect farm comes up even if it takes 5 years. Ah. We can’t do that. Wyatt begins kindergarten next fall. I don’t want to make him change schools. No, it won’t kill him. I moved a lot when I was young and it didn’t do me any harm. But I’d rather not if I can help it. No farm land is available in our current school zone so I’d rather move by next fall. Seems possible but not with what is on the market currently.
It is a lot to think about. A lot to ponder. Looking at a long held dream through the glasses of reality isn’t pretty. It is hard to give up on a dream. To light the match and throw it on. Maybe it is too soon to be talking like this but after 3 months of hard core searching and one dream farm being ripped away from us, it is hard not to take a step back and re think the plan. Re evaluate the necessities from the wants. Figure out what makes us happy as a family and what is expendable.
We have a second showing of a place today. This place is nice. Really the only issues are the schools aren’t that great. Well, the elementary and high school are good. The middle sucks. It’s also closer to a main road than we’d like. A bit noisier than we’d hoped for. I don’t though. The rest is pretty nice.
Then we have a showing at another place next week. Wonderful schools. Quiet road. But the land is smaller than I want. 30 acres but only 12 in pasture. Oh and the state prison is a mile down the road. Not sure how I feel about that. Pretty house though. I don’t know.
Currently I just hate everything and want to move to a different state and start over but I have roots here. My parents. My business. My husbands business. This is where we are now.
Time to move on and figure this thing out.