Hmmm…there are quite a few small things that get to me. Remember I’m a rule follower to a fault, so basically any time I see someone breaking a rule it drives me a bit crazy.
I’d have to say though that the thing that bothers me the most is when a rider or horse person in general fails to realize that there is always more than one way to do things and that unless it is abusive or harmful in some way please shut the poop up and leave me/others alone.
For instance. There I was minding my own business hanging with Dusty and Wyatt off to the side between my 18″ and 2′ jumper rounds at the show. This teenager was lunging her very lame horse in the dressage arena with the things head tied down. The girl’s mother comes walking over and here I am thinking she is going to tell her daughter to leave that horse alone, but no. She comes up to Gem and informs me that I should clip her because she looks unruly.
Um? Excuse me? Shut up and go teach your daughter how to be a real rider who doesn’t use gadgets on a lame horse to get it to appear round and leave me and my yak alone.
Beyond just being plain old fashioned rude though there are those who think that their opinion is not only correct but needs to be heard as well. I personally don’t like treeless saddles yet I don’t go around telling those who use them they are wrong. Because you know what? I’m 99% sure everyone is just making this crap up as we go along anyway and we are all doing our best to figure out what works at the moment and changing it as needed.
Yes, there are certain things I don’t agree with yet that doesn’t mean that those things don’t work for you and your horse. It just means that it isn’t something I’d like to do for mine. So go ahead and do your thing. Oh I may very well be silently judging you and your choices, but I will also understand that there is more than one way to do this thing and will keep any comments to myself.
A good case in point is my best riding bud S. The two of us couldn’t manage our horses any differently. She rides bitless and in a treeless saddle. She supplements the crap out of her horses and doesn’t feed any grain. She is very holistic in everything with her horses and prefers small amount of land and many horses. Me? I’m a treed saddle, bit in mouth, complete feed grain, no supplements, small number of horses with a crap ton of land type of person. We get along splendidly and each let the other do it their own way with no interference unless the other specifically asks.
The Roaming Rider 
I’ve come to sorta decide that there are probably many many many ways to achieve any particular outcome with horses. And very very few *wrong* ways. Like I actually think it’s a lot harder than ppl like to suggest to actually ruin a horse. Turns out the horses are usually fine. I mean sure I may be secretly judging ppl for some of their choices too haha and if everybody agreed with me it would be a ridiculously boring world anyway. But generally I’m with ya on letting ppl do their thing.
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Unless it is a safety issue or outright abuse, leave them be. Most times it will come to light eventually that what is going on isn’t helping.
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I still haven’t figured out why anyone who has been around horses hasn’t figured out that there are literally hundreds of ways to do anything with a horse. It’s interesting to me to read all the different ways people care for heir horses, I love trying to get a handle on all the things that might work in different situations
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That is my favorite part of reading blogs. My current management plan is doing well, but that doesn’t mean it won’t change and by reading blogs I have a whole arsenal of things to try when that day comes
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I just finished up at the 2017 International Society for Equitation Science conference, and this topic surprisingly was something that had research done on it.
The idea behind people justifying their own actions whilst condemning the similar actions of others is known as cognitive dissonance.
The definition is “the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioural decisions and attitude change”. It makes it rather hard to tell people that they need to reflect internally rather than justifying their behaviour (lunging an unsound horse) by pointing out what they perceive as poor behaviour (unclipped horse).
For what it is worth, I am 100% with you. This sport needs to be far more friendly than it currently is and we need to support each other and learn as much as we can without shutting down because we are being told our way is not the only way. Just a fun fact I thought worth sharing and relevant to what you were posting about 🙂
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Interesting! Thank you for sharing it. I love learning new things. I tend to try to not be so judged in life in general. Like maybe that horse needed lunging to help strengthen a stifle or work out tightness? How do I know? If the horse was screaming in pain or had blood dripping down it then it would have been a different story.
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I try to not ever talk to horse people about anything regarding how they keep their horses/do whatever with their horses. There’s no convincing people so there’s no point. My husband will often ask: “should we tell them ___?” Nope. Just leave it be.
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That’s basically my style as well.
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