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Would Your Horse Survive A Zombie Apocalypse?

So…during my horse search the Hubs made the comment that a lot of the horses we looked at or found online would not survive a zombie apocalypse. Now to be fair the maintenance they required was to keep them in top performance shape and the injections, special shoes etc…would cease once they retired. But not all horses fell into that category. Thin coats making winter hard, horses with feet so awful they wouldn’t be able to roam for food, allergies, heaves etc etc.

It got me thinking. How would mine stand up?

Gemmie

Within a month she’d be the Queen. Ha! Seriously though, she’d do just fine. She might even prefer a world with no humans. Getting into the details though. Every farrier who has ever seen her is amazed at her perfect feet. She self trims better than any farrier work I’ve come across and can easily handle the most severe terrain without an issue. She has never had an abscess and has never taken an off step.

So very itchy

Her coat is also pretty darn perfect. Thick and yak like in the winter and slick in the summer. Even in this near 100F summer she barely sweats but not in a scary way. She was bred for the desert.

She is aloof and independent enough to not require humans on the regular and smart enough to stay far away from any hunting zombie pack. Plus, she stays fat on air so calories wouldn’t be an issue. If the world fell apart tomorrow, I could rest easy knowing my best mare would be just fine.

 Getting her latest trim

Pete

The old man would do ok with some tweaking. His feet are not near as good as Gem’s but I believe they’d stand up to the roaming life just fine. He may get some bruising or cracks from time to time but he is extremely stoic and would walk through it.

Like Gem, he gets and stays fat on air so the no grain, hunt for grass and edible leaves lifestyle would be just fine for him. The roaming miles would do his old joints some good too. Thankfully he is sound as can be and doesn’t require any supplements.

I caught Pete and Cruze playing the other day after dinner. I didn’t grab my phone until after the running around and rearing hi jinks were done and they were down to lazy bitey face. Pete instigates it more than Cruze, but Cruze is always up for play time. 

 

As for those vicious zombies, Pete is scared of me in a raincoat after almost 9 years with us so I’d bet he’d stay far far away.

His issue would be the heat. His nose cracks and bleeds in the sun if he doesn’t have desitin slathered but that’s limited to the summer and while uncomfortable isn’t life threatening. His biggest issue would be water. He melts in the summer and drinks 1/3rd of the massive water tub each day. He’d either need to wander up north or park by a large lake or river. Water sources attract predators though and while he is big and bold he is also old.

His summer spot is parked right by the water tank

I’d say as long as he had a constant water source and shade or would wander up north into the mountains more that he would probably survive just fine for a good long while.

Cruze

First, I finally found a spelling I like. Not important here but thought I’d mention it.

Cruze is an interesting one and I’d give him maybe a month. Why? He is such a big baby. He is addicted to human attention so I’d worry he’d see the zombies and run over looking for a good scratch only to get eaten.

Sorry big guy, but it’s true.

Who me? Never!

Outside of that, I’m not so sure he has the self preservation instincts to survive the human free world. His feet should grow out well enough to support him. Heck this weekend we switched them to the fields across the driveway because I got tired of mowing all that grass without them ever touching it. He galloped like mad and jumped the big ditch in the woods without issue. His feet are fine. Not perfect, but fine enough and will only continue to improve from here.

I haven’t had him in the winter but he seems to be ok right now. No massive bug reactions though he came in with hives all down his left hip a few weeks ago. They were gone by morning so he must have rolled in either a thistle or maybe even on a fire ant hill. I would not put that past him.

He is holding his own on a high quality ration balancer and the grass buffet though he isn’t getting fat like the other two. I’d worry he’d need more roughage to keep weight on than the other two. We will see how he manages in the cold both coat quality and weight wise.

Mentally though. I just don’t see him lasting beyond a month. He’d be the one I’d worry about the most surving on his own. I just don’t see it happening.

All these summer storms are leaving us with gorgeous rainbows over the pasture. If you squint you can see the tiny specks of the three horses out grazing. 

So what about you all? Would your horse(s) survive a zombie apocalypse? Why or why not?

30 thoughts on “Would Your Horse Survive A Zombie Apocalypse?”

  1. Bahahaha, this is hilarious! 100% on Gem. I wouldn’t put it past her to start taking out zombies because their mere presence irritates Her Majesty.

    P would probably not survive very long. He’s fairly stoic, and could definitely outrun any zombies should he choose to do so, but like Cruze (love the spelling!), loves attention and would most likely end up getting eaten in his quest for chicken nuggets and popsicles.

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  2. What a great writing prompt, LOL.

    Saffron, our donkey, would be like Gem. She’d be Queen in no time flat unless there were zombie children because she loves children. But she’s otherwise wary enough of new folks that she’d stay away from anything that smelled or looked scary.

    Gwyn would be more like Cruze. She loves loves loves attention and she’d go mugging anything on two legs for treats, regardless if it’s shambling or walking normally. If she managed to stay away though, she’d be fine nutritionally because she’s an air fern too. Her feet would be chipped and cracked though. They don’t really wear well without regular maintenance.

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  3. Hahaha yes Gem would absolutely be queen without a doubt! I was explaining to my dad about all the vet checks for a pregnant mare and he said “how have horses ever survived without us?!” and I laughed and said it’s us humans who want to make sure we get a live foal hence all the checks lol.

    I don’t think Amber would last too long. An okay time, but not too long. She has good feet, coat and bone, and gets fat on air, and was very sound before this whole thing with her stifle. Like Cruze, she loves human attention and scratches, though I have seen the rare occasion where she doesn’t like a person because she doesn’t like their vibes, so I think she’d stay away from them at first but then get eaten because she’s craving human attention and treats LOL.

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  4. This is great! Levi would be dead. He is a princess: he needs special shoes to be sound, is allergic to bugs, and loves people. If he didn’t just walk right up to a zombie to be eaten, the feet or bugs would get him. Eugene would be fine. He won’t even let me catch him half the time, there’s no way a zombie would get him. He has awesome feet and wild horse experience. He’d just go back to his old life. I think Nilla and Shasta would be fine too.

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  5. omg i love this!!! Isabel would be right up there with Gem, enslaving the zombies to do her bidding. she was one tough cookie!! Charlie is….. not really made of the same stuff. sometimes i think he’s secretly milking me for everything i’m worth when it comes to all the coddling and tlc that he gets… but idk. he’s a delicate, sensitive kinda guy lol…

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    1. The world would be run by arab mares..HA! Charlie might do better than you think. He seems like a generally sensible guy. I find it funny that most responses have been that the horse would get eaten fairly quickly.

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  6. I’m not sure any of my guys would survive? I mean, they all live outside 24/7 but Subi eats only what Subi chooses to eat until he chooses to eat it no longer. And between his arthritis and hind end issues… Plus he needs his 10000000 million grams of blankets and can’t be alone. And fly garb. Batty, he needs soaked feed and electrolytes less he gets another impaction colic. and fly garb. And bug spray. And dex. And whatever else is needed to treat his various other ailments including abscesses and heaves. And Jiminy? He could survive but too much grass and he’d founder. And if it were to rain or he’d get wet? He’d think he were DYING. DYING I TELL YOU. Plus he needs a warm house because he’s already being TORTURED BEING OWNED BY ME AND BEING MADE TO LIVE OUTSIDE (and not inside in my living room when it’s cold or wet or I’m eating dinner). He’s a punk. A spoiled rotten, punk. A delicate wilting, spoiled rotten punk of a flower.

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  7. Jumping in as a newcomer here, this post is just too funny not to! My mare, Liberty, would not survive. She throws epic hissy fits when something in the daily schedule changes and deigns it far beneath her to get wet in the rain.

    My Perch gelding though would do just fine. We call Justice the war horse for good reason. Hes the least picky eater ever and has that big ground covering draft walk to keep adequate space between him and the zombies without wasting precious resources galloping around.

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  8. I think my horse, Biasini,(Hanoverian gelding age 13) would survive. He has great feet and is limber ( no arthritis or sore joints) he is a great eater and not fussy. He gets on well with others( horses) and would not waste energy on pointless fights. He can also be very very quick and knowing all those advanced dressage moves that have a military background he could decapitate and trample the zombies.

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  9. Hysterical! I think Opie would last even less time than Cruze if the zombies came in summer. He’d run right towards them in hopes one of them would hose him off and take him away from the bugs. Or maybe just lay down and give up on life if no one came to save him from nature.

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  10. Ha ha this is so perfect and says so much about them! I think June would be closer to Gem than Cruze. She kinda leads the pack. But I worry that attitude of hers could get her in trouble… no friends or allies isn’t a great place to be during a zombie apocalypse!

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  11. Ahaha I love this! My old BO and I had this conversation about the old herd YEARS ago. It involved not only who would survive/die but who we would eat first (hardest keepers) and last (easy keepers) since we’d obviously be holed up in the house defending the property for our lives. We even went so far as to pick out which horses could get us to safety and which we could train to carry a mounted automatic machine gun to kill zombies during our plea for escape/freedom/rescue missions lmao

    Q would survive, like Gem. Stan and Grif are both wary enough of weird ass shit that I think zombies would freak them the hell out and they’d high-tail it. All are accustomed to 24/7 turnout year round and fending for themselves more or less, so provided they could find adequate forage in winter, they’d be fine.

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  12. This is great! Sorry I missed it yesterday!

    I know Arrow would survive. Heck the poor guy has already lived in apocalypse conditions before we got him. He lived out in a field by himself with just grass and water. Honestly not even sure if or how often he got farrier care. Other than his loud paint coloring making him an easy target I think he’d survive.

    I think Chimi would survive too. He’s always on alert and runs around my pasture when he thinks something is going to eat him and there’s nothing there or it’s so far away that only he can “see” it (aka nothing is there!) the only problem would be him running everywhere all the time bc Zombies are everywhere!!!

    Marley- I give her 50/50 chance of survival. She’s got a brain and is even though she’s a TB she stays pretty warm in the winter. Her coat doesn’t get very long but she seems to operate at a higher temp than the others. I’d be concerned about her weight and if found roughage would be enough for her? She’s a surprising horse so I really can’t put it past her- there’s a decent chance she would survive!

    My husband and I joke about the zombie Apocalypse all the time too- we have a dog who hunts her own food and we jokingly say she’d keep all our dogs alive bc she’d keep them fed! Nova is a beast for sure!!!!

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  13. I love this topic too! My three boys (mustang, QHxArab, and pint-sized mule) would be happy to be in Gem’s court after the apocalypse. I also have two dogs that could run with them and survive just fine. What can I say, I love low-maintenance, half-wild animals! 🙂

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