A Case of the Blahs

My typical keyboard diarrhea has temporarily dried up. I’m not sure why. There are some big changes in the very near future yet every time I sit down to write about it I just don’t like anything I’ve written. I delete and try again and hate that even more.

Wags has taken to jumping in my lap while I am typing my medical records. It makes it a bit harder to do, but I can’t say no to some puppy kisses. 

Riding had been blah too. I think it basically boils down to the fact that both Gem and I are bored. I’m bored of doing walk, trot, canter in the pasture in circles and figure 8s. Gem is bored. When I rode her last, she made me laugh by basically running through my exercises on autopilot. I feel very stagnated in my riding right now. After nearly a year of lessons, albeit only twice a month, I’m still working on w/t/c in a balanced manner, still jumping the same height, still trotting my jumps. I know we are both calmer, we’ll typically, and that a lot has changed in the last 8 months, but it just feels like I’m doing the same stuff over and over and over again and getting nowhere.

My mom surprised me with a blow up Frankenstein. She was at my office supervision new carpet being installed while I worked at the hospital and when I came over after work , there was Frankenstein chilling in my exam chair. 

I did introduce turn on the haunches to Gemmie. She makes me laugh any time I try something new since her default response is getting pissed off about it. We stood at the halt and I asked her to move that big butt of hers. Her ears immediately got pinned back and her neck went all giraffe and tense, but she did move the way I wanted. She got a ton of praise and asked again. Both directions went fairly well and then we went off trotting again. Mare was angry that I changed up her routine and made her use that big brain of hers but at least the task was at the halt so she couldn’t do her typical escalation of speed.

The new vest is wonderful so far. Hopefully I will get back out on the cross country course this weekend to try it out for real. 

I don’t know. I guess I was hoping to be doing something different by now. I am hoping to attend my first HT in December and feel less ready than ever. See? I’m just so very blah about everything right now. I think it is stress. A big work thing didn’t go the way I had hoped which bummed me out and then there is a big personal thing that should be exciting but has just been a lot of work and stress and ugh.

My two point time did double though! I used the dressage saddle again because I just like using that better when doing flat work only than my jump saddle. I got in 1:07 before Gem zigged a way I was expected and my butt touched the saddle. This challenge is going to be more about learning how to steer and control pace with Gem while in two point than about my legs keeping it.

An improvement from the baseline

And that’s about it. It started raining yesterday which killed off my riding plans. I think it should stop tomorrow. We need the rain though so I’m not complaining too loudly. Wyatt is supposed to have his second lesson tomorrow after work and then I might have a lesson myself on Wednesday. I’ve been invited to go cross country schooling on Sunday though and I can’t really justify doing both in the same week plus the hunter pace I went on already this month, so it will be one or the other and I’m not 100% sure which. I really, really want to do the cross country schooling since we need to exposure and experience plus it is with a different trainer to get new eyes on us and with a friend. But…Gem and I aren’t the easiest pair and we have only been trotting our jumps and and and and….so many reasons to feel…sorta inadequate….being out in a group like that. I don’t want to drag anyone else down or be told to basically just go trot around out of sight. So maybe I’ll just do the lesson. I don’t know.


18 thoughts on “A Case of the Blahs”

  1. I understand stress and the blahs very, very well. It’ll pass!

    Go XC schooling – you’re bound to learn something new! New eyes and a friend there sounds like a good combination of pushing outside your comfort zone while still being firmly anchored in a safe place with someone you know. Wishing you the best.

    And huge congrats on those big changes 😉


    1. Thanks!! I am planning on making a post someday. I can’t seem to get it all down right though. Facebook has been easier to photo dump on.

      I should go xc schooling. I don;t want to be a complete fool out there though. Hopefully the blahs pass before then.


  2. ugh the blahs are definitely a very real thing. esp this time of year i think. also that’s a really tough choice between the two outings…. are you sure there’s no way to do both????? (devil’s advocate over here).

    only knowing a very little bit about the situation, i might be inclined to say go with the xc school just to experience some new instruction and ride with a group (something i LOVE doing btw). don’t buy into those feelings of worry about dragging the lesson down or being sent away or whatever. i promise everyone else is really just working on the same stuff too!

    on the other hand tho i could see why it might be more attractive to get back to a lesson with your regular trainer rather than shaking it up with so many unknowns. really tho, i think you should do both 😛


    1. Tricky question. It is technically possible to do both. Just not if I want to stay married. Two horse events a month has been our compromise. In an uncharacteristic argument this weekend I had it thrown in my face that my lessons cost us $1200 a year and his hobby is free (which it isn’t but whatever). One or the other is the best choice for marital bliss at the moment.


  3. Hey, hey. hey! First off, you WON’T drag anyone down. XC schooling days are just that, for schooling, no matter the level. Even if you just want to trot logs, or through water or whatever, it’s something new and it gets you out of the every day boring W/T/C rides (which suck, I know). And you’d NEVER be told to just trot off somewhere by yourself. Plus you need to get some mileage on that XC vest!!

    My friend is coming and she’s an adult weenie also (we must unite!). Bette might be able to come if her horse decides to get over his abscess, but it doesn’t look like there will be a trainer there. I’m ok with that because less time waiting around for everyone else to go, and no social pressure 🙂 There are a lot of fences for everyone and it’s something brand new. It’ll just be the 3 or 4 of us, having some fun.

    Plus, P and G can continue their battle of the sexes!


    1. I’m not sure Gem’s ego can handle P smoking her on the xc course 😉 I really want to go. Just a bit nervous although not having a trainer there is actually better. I’d hate for everyone else to have to wait for me to do my thing.


      1. Yeah, same here. I WAS that person in the group when we went XC schooling with B’s trainer and it’s embarrassing 😊 My weenie friend is definitely coming and B says she’ll come to cheer and take pictures of Chimi isn’t over his abscess by Sunday. So it’ll just be relaxed and fun!


  4. It can feel very depressing just working on the basics. I completely feel you there. It’s also hard when you don’t have a specific goal in mind to work for. Maybe trying to come up with new exercises can liven your riding up. Do you have buckets or barrels you can set up? You can try some pole bending or barrel racing to make circles and bending more fun. Or other random crap to just do stuff with. I know Pinterest has a lot of exercises if you need some inspiration.


    1. It’s odd for me. Typically it is so hot and humid that I miss all of July and August riding and by this time I’m raring to go again. Now I’m just blah. I think your right about the less sun light. It’s getting dark so early that fitting in an evening ride is getting harder


  5. I spent basically a year riding the same freaking 20 metre circle until I thought that I would lose my mind. Mix it up- and do both the things. Soon it will be winter and you won’t be able to do either so it’s totally okay to double on things (I am an enabler…but still not wrong).


  6. I usually sit and watch YouTube videos like Evention when I am feeling blah, it can help kick start the motivation. Might be worth a try 🙂


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