My typical keyboard diarrhea has temporarily dried up. I’m not sure why. There are some big changes in the very near future yet every time I sit down to write about it I just don’t like anything I’ve written. I delete and try again and hate that even more.
Riding had been blah too. I think it basically boils down to the fact that both Gem and I are bored. I’m bored of doing walk, trot, canter in the pasture in circles and figure 8s. Gem is bored. When I rode her last, she made me laugh by basically running through my exercises on autopilot. I feel very stagnated in my riding right now. After nearly a year of lessons, albeit only twice a month, I’m still working on w/t/c in a balanced manner, still jumping the same height, still trotting my jumps. I know we are both calmer, we’ll typically, and that a lot has changed in the last 8 months, but it just feels like I’m doing the same stuff over and over and over again and getting nowhere.
I did introduce turn on the haunches to Gemmie. She makes me laugh any time I try something new since her default response is getting pissed off about it. We stood at the halt and I asked her to move that big butt of hers. Her ears immediately got pinned back and her neck went all giraffe and tense, but she did move the way I wanted. She got a ton of praise and asked again. Both directions went fairly well and then we went off trotting again. Mare was angry that I changed up her routine and made her use that big brain of hers but at least the task was at the halt so she couldn’t do her typical escalation of speed.
I don’t know. I guess I was hoping to be doing something different by now. I am hoping to attend my first HT in December and feel less ready than ever. See? I’m just so very blah about everything right now. I think it is stress. A big work thing didn’t go the way I had hoped which bummed me out and then there is a big personal thing that should be exciting but has just been a lot of work and stress and ugh.
My two point time did double though! I used the dressage saddle again because I just like using that better when doing flat work only than my jump saddle. I got in 1:07 before Gem zigged a way I was expected and my butt touched the saddle. This challenge is going to be more about learning how to steer and control pace with Gem while in two point than about my legs keeping it.
And that’s about it. It started raining yesterday which killed off my riding plans. I think it should stop tomorrow. We need the rain though so I’m not complaining too loudly. Wyatt is supposed to have his second lesson tomorrow after work and then I might have a lesson myself on Wednesday. I’ve been invited to go cross country schooling on Sunday though and I can’t really justify doing both in the same week plus the hunter pace I went on already this month, so it will be one or the other and I’m not 100% sure which. I really, really want to do the cross country schooling since we need to exposure and experience plus it is with a different trainer to get new eyes on us and with a friend. But…Gem and I aren’t the easiest pair and we have only been trotting our jumps and and and and….so many reasons to feel…sorta inadequate….being out in a group like that. I don’t want to drag anyone else down or be told to basically just go trot around out of sight. So maybe I’ll just do the lesson. I don’t know.