Why Yes Life, Please Pile On The Stress

“So be prepared for a welsh cob Arab foal in about 10 months”

Words I never wanted to hear, ever, in my life yet found myself listening to this morning as the hubby and I crossed paths getting around for work.

He laughed.

I panicked.

Apparently he put Gem out last after breakfast this morning and Nash was hanging out by the gate which isn’t unusual for him. He waits for Pete too, liking the herd to all be together. As soon as Gem was let loose, she immediately shoved her hussy little bay butt in Nash’s face, peed and knelt down so the shrimpy little guy could…well…enjoy himself on her behalf. Not that she was suffering, mind you.

I immediately went into panic mode. Did I buy a stallion? I have the vet exam I paid for which clearly states GELDING. I even contacted the seller and made sure I wasn’t going insane. I re read the original ad I still have on my phone. GELDING. Of course, I have no proof he was ever gelded beyond the exam and he could be a crypt orchid some asshole breeder passed down the line claiming to be a gelding, but that seems maybe unlikely. I don’t know. He was certainly enjoying himself and I highly doubt it was the first instance of debauchery those two have partaken in. And in front of Pete no less! The poor old gelding has been pastured with Gem for 9 years and she never so much as batted an eye lash in his direction. Add little stud muffin Nash to the mix and voila! She becomes a whore overnight. Guess she isn’t in to big, strong blondes.

Dusty assured me that most crypt orchids throw blanks. Ok, fine. The chances I’m going to end up with a tiny version of Gem next year are looking pretty slim, thank the Universe. Not that I don’t love Gem, but I really don’t need a miniature version of her for the next 30 years. It still leaves me with a big problem. I can’t have my mare having sex all day long while I am at work. She returned to her normal self after the Gastroguard was started, but it just can’t be that healthy for her to be so….active.

This means I need to separate them. Which likely means I need to sell Nash. Sure, I have the extra pastures to put him in, but I really don’t like having a solitary horse and with his personality I think it was quickly become an instance of him pacing the pasture fence all day long and I will not purchase a friend for Nash. No thanks.

This brings up two other issues.

  1. How would I even tell Wyatt that his pony is being sold? I mean, what explanation would I give him? Sorry, but your pony is a male gigolo?
  2. How would I write that ad? Kid friendly welsh cob pony. No bad habits. Well, except he is horny as hell so watch out!


I don’t need this right now.

Hubby is going to pull blood tonight and send off to the lab for a blood test to check to see if he is a crypt orchid. Apparently you can do that. I may just do that as part of my pre purchase of any male horse for the rest of eternity.


27 thoughts on “Why Yes Life, Please Pile On The Stress”

  1. omg omg omg. can you just separate him when Gem is in heat?? I doubt she would let him near her otherwise (most mares wont!) LOL. Sorry i am giggling so hard but am sorry all this is on you as well. WTF. I think Nash is adorable but hope he is not a crypt but simply a horny pony. Not that that helps you any. Sorry…this just boggles the mind……all I could think is what would Wyatt say? AWKWARD. OMG …


    1. Your brain is doing exactly what mine has been doing all morning. Poor Wyatt. Damn horny pony. Best guess is he was bred a few times before being gelded and slutty Gem got him going. I have no clue if mating is harmful to Gem. Or what to do

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Omg that visual had me giggling. Its spring,.maybe give them a little space until after the season of horsey romance? Get Nash a goat friend (male clearly) and put in another pasture for a bit? We used to have a pony mare and proud cut gelding that would go at it in the pasture, surrounded by other horses. Super awkward in front of the kids camp you are teaching.


  3. I know it’s not necessarily funny to you right now with everything going on but OMG I’m DYING LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!!!! Little hussy Gem!!!!!!! I’m guessing Wyatt didn’t see his pony going at it with Gem otherwise you might of had the sex talk a bit early!!!
    Ok trying not to laugh uncontrollably…but what Martidoll said about separating them temporarily might help? I remember in my animal science class in college the mares would only allow the stallion/teaser pony nearby when they were at a certain point in their cycle otherwise it was “HANDS OFF ASSHOLE” and they wanted no part of it. So this extreme behavior should only last a week or so? In theory! Obviously your husband would know best since he’s a vet!!! But OMG I’m still giggling at the thought of Nash getting some!!!! And I had no idea you could do a blood test either for a cryptorchid (or however you spell it) And it’s so rare I don’t think it ever comes up in question in a pre purchase… i mean a geldings a gelding right? 😉 HAHAHA maybe not!

    Oh and a side note I did 3 hours and 15 minutes of volunteering at the FRC show this weekend!


    1. I mean it is funny. Or would be next year. They will get separated for now and hopefully we can come up with some solution to this debacle. Thankfully Wyatt didn’t see it or else…I don’t even want to think about that!


  4. awww snap, Gem’s a cougar!! i wouldn’t worry about it too much, honestly. we had a mare and gelding in a herd at isabel’s barn who…. were close. and it was fine. geldings aren’t going to make babies, and most mares won’t tolerate unwelcome advances from geldings. so in other words, Gem’s kinda calling those shots. but there’s no real harm in it so long as there’s no fighting between other members of the herd.


  5. As the owner of a mare who is a hussy towards both other mares and geldings, to the point where she has to live in mare-only herds because she can get even the most clueless of geldings all riled up…yup, this is pretty common.

    Actually, I pretty much refuse to keep my mares with geldings because of SO MANY bad experiences with this type of behavior. I was once nearly trampled by a gelding trying to mount the mare that I was leading in from the pasture. She wasn’t even one of my mares; she belonged to a friend that had asked me to exercise her. The gelding would. not. stop. And the mare was receptive, so that wasn’t helping matters any! Unlike others commenting, I don’t find the behavior funny at all.

    So yes: you can find out pretty easily if Nash is a cryptorchid by sending out a blood test to measure his testosterone levels, which is what I’m guessing Dusty is having checked. But I wouldn’t be surprised if Nash is a regular gelding: he has not exhibited any stallion behaviors otherwise. I’ve met some proud-cut geldings (cryptorchids) and their general behavior is like a stallion’s, even when not around mares in heat. The majority of geldings that I have met that mounted mares on the regular were properly gelded, well-behaved gentlemen the rest of the time, both in hand, under saddle, and around other horses. Just like you would expect a gelding to be. The behavior only came out in the field when a mare was literally asking for it.

    And yup, even if Nash was a cryptorchid, there’s a 99.9% that he’s sterile: testicles don’t work properly when surrounded by the heat of the abdominal cavity.

    My vote would be to separate them while Gem is in heat. Like Bette pointed out, she is only going to permit this to happen when she is receptive to it (aka ovulating); this is not going to become the norm when she is in anestrus because she is not going to allow it.


    1. Yeah, he is running the testosterone test, but as you said he acts just like a gelding and has no real characteristics of a stallion or other stallion like behaviors. This mating thing caught me completely off guard as Gem has been housed with geldings before and with Pete for 9 years with no issue.

      I’ve also never paid any attention to he heat cycles at all. She never acts any different on the ground or under saddle and so I never needed to care. I guess I’m going to have to start paying close attention now.


  6. My now deceased mare did this with one of the most mild mannered geldings of all time and it was horrifying, so I understand! He was most definitely a gelding and had NEVER in all his years being owned by my husband’s aunt EVER looked sideways at a mare. We tried them together several summers ago in a ten acre grass pasture before we finished building our house and barn. Needless to say, we had to separate them when she was in heat. Otherwise, it was fine! I was mortified but it worked out ok in the end as long as I kept track of when I needed to separate her. She was fine with it because she was just put into an adjoining two acre grass pasture. There is hope!


  7. Not to be an alarmist, but I would absolutely be keeping them apart. Someone I know lost a mare in a very similar situation. A gelding with no prior history of any issues being turned out with mares became so obsessed with mounting this particular mare that he eventually perforated her abdominal wall and she had to be euthanized. The gelding was tested to be sure he wasn’t a crypt, and he wasn’t. Hadn’t bred any mares before being gelded, just following his biological urges.

    I don’t think it’s worth selling Nash over, especially as hard as it can be to find a good kid’s pony, but might not hurt to find a goat or something to turn him out with and leave Gem and Pete together. Or just track her cycles and separate them during that time.


    1. I don’t mind separating him if it is only for short periods while Gem gets her slut on, but I have zero interest in keeping him separate permanently. I don’t think it is healthy for a horse to be alone like that although I know there are many boarded or housed alone that do well. Nash is too social and I don’t think he would fare well. I do not want to add any living creature to our household. Sure a goat or donkey isn’t needing trained or ridden, but it is health care and farrier care etc…and I don’t want that. No animal hoarding for me.


  8. Oh my gosh. When I ran a summer camp, we had a gelding that would mount one of the mares. Never had him tested, so I don’t know if he was a C.O. or not. One time he started making little whickering noises at the mare while they were both being ridden in a lesson. The little girl riding the mare looked over at him, yelled stop flirting, and smacked him in the face. One of the best moments of my camp career. He never tried it under saddle again, but kept at it when they were turned out. Anyway… I have no advice, but I hope you figure it out.


  9. Never commented before but love your blog! In the UK which might change things. My mare is difficult when in season and was tying up with it, so we gave her an improvac shot. Much cheaper than regumate and she is now back to normal and no cycles to worry about.


    1. Welcome!! Thanks for commenting!!!! I’ve had Gem for 9 years and never once noticed when she went into heat. She never acts any different on the ground or under saddle and never cared about the gelding she has always been with. But now she’s found her inner slut who knows?


  10. My Carlos we bred when he was a stallion and then gelded him late, He tried to breed anything and everything after that. Too damn funny though about Nash, sucks that he’s going to have to go though.


    1. We separated them and so far it’s ok. Going to give it a bit and try to reintroduce him back again. If they can behave when not in heat he can stay but otherwise he will need a good home that isn’t around Gem


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